About Donations – English


All donations are utilized to directly fund education, awareness and most importantly to fund assistance during emergency situations for domestic violence victims.

Emergency situations can include any or all of the following: transportation, court system help, temporary housing, clothing, medical expenses, toiletries, counseling, food, emergency assistance, help line numbers and more.

Sometimes victims in crisis must leave quickly and may not be fully prepared to flee.

This is where your donations are crucial.

To get out of a dangerous situation and into a safer one requires resources that many victims do not have access to. It is important for them to focus on immediate change and not on the financial burden.

Tears in Heaven provides “Boots on the ground” support to ease the transition and assist victims when they are the most afraid and vulnerable.


When I get a phone call from a victim I try to find out:

How old?

A safe place is considered:
– Home, apartment; all the needed necessary appliances, safe storage, furniture, toiletries, tools detergents, food, water are there
– Friend’s house; safe storage, safe bed, toiletries, food, water, necessary things are there
– Police department
– Safe environment; store / place full of strangers
– Workplace; coworkers, safer and calm environment


A safe room is considered:
– A room with a lot of exits, windows, doors, sturdy furniture, easy access to flee, room with no sharp objects, no weapons, (examples: living room, garage)

Unsafe rooms are:
– Kitchen; dishes, knives, utensils, pots, pans, glasses, sink with running water, easy accessible appliances, tools, all might be “potential weapons”

– Bathroom; running water in the sink, toilet bowl full of water, shaving razors, bottles of shampoo, conditioner, perfume, poisonous toilet bowl cleaners, all might be “potential weapons”

A name of a place, estimated time for the abuser to get back to the pace that victim is at

A member of the family; husband, wife, daughter, son, grandfather, grandmother, partner, neighbor stranger

If yes, are these your kids, your step kids, your animals, how old, how many?

How many days, months, years, what kind of a relationship is it?

How many days, months, years, was the abuse the same way from the beginning, did any of it change with time?


– Yelling, name calling, ridicule, silent treatment

– Isolation, public humiliation, accusation of infidelity

– Display of weapons, abuse of pets

– Threat of injury, murder, suicide, deportation

– Minimizing or denying the abuse or blaming the victim for abuse


– Hitting, slapping, punching, biting, cutting, kicking, burning, spitting

– Destruction of property, throwing objects

– Neglect, restraint of movement, strangulation, drowning

– Abandonment in unsafe, unknown and distant location

– Infliction of pain or injury with an object (gun, knife, bat, brick, chain, hammer, scissors, rope, belt buckle,

– Extension cord, branch, bottle.)


– Force victim to have sex against their will, force unwanted sexual acts

– Force to watch others,  have sex with others or commit sadistic sexual acts

– Force sex after beating, when they’re sick, when pregnant, or when danger to their health

– Criticize sexual performance, blaming of sexual intercourse with others,  acting jealous and angry

– Criticize or insist victims clothing preferences

– Reproduction, forced pregnancy


– Prohibiting employment, harassing victim at work

– Not allowing victim access to bank accounts, controlling money, forcing victim to write bad checks

– Monitoring spending, withholding food or money for food, withholding money for transportation

– Putting credit cards, bank accounts and cars under perpetrator’s name only

– Refusing to file tax returns / Forcing victim to file false tax returns

– Stealing victims identity, property or inheritance


– Imposing theology on partner / victim

– Destruction of religious objects of icons

– Prohibiting or restricting religious practices

– Use of religious text or verses (out of context) to control or manipulate

– Excessive criticism of or making fun of another’s religious beliefs or practices


Daily, weekly, monthly, spontaneously

Is victim restricted from a use of a phone or a computer? Are messages, phone calls, emails recorded or constantly checked?

Is victim restricted from family, friends, coworkers?

Is the victim limited to money, bank cards or bank account use? Is spending controlled, is money being taken away?

Is victim limited to work? Restricted from work? Controlled at work, checked at work?

Is victim allowed to have their own place at home? Are there any living restrictions?

Does victim have an automobile, driver’s license, car insurance?

Is victim a legal resident, citizen in the country? Is any paperwork filed?

Any family members, friends, coworkers, strangers

If yes, what kind of a restriction is it? How long has it been in existence? What has victim done about solving it?

How far from home? How much do they know about the abuse?

What kind of medical restrictions? How long has it been there? How is it treated?

Any previous actions or arguments?

If yes, when? How many times? Does victim have proof of the documents?

If yes, what is it? Where is it? Is the evidence or proof at the safe place?